Root

The air hangs heavy with the acrid scent of vomit.

I’m hunched over by the side, retching violently as my body rebels against the weight of guilt and fear that clings to my insides. Each convulsion sends waves of nausea through me, a physical manifestation of the turmoil within.

Ettie’s voice, a distant murmur, penetrates the fog of my anguish.

“Alina, you need to stop. It’s done.”

Her words, meant as reassurance, fall on deaf ears. I can’t shake the images that replay in my mind–the brutality, the blood, the makeshift grave. The forest seems to close in around me, its ancient trees bearing silent witness to the chaos that has unfolded in their domain.

As I retch, Ettie continues to stand near the makeshift grave, her gaze fixed on the rocky ground. “We did what we had to do, Alina.”

Her words cut through the fog, a stark reminder of the unforgiving reality that governs the Mating Run. Survival leaves no room for hesitation or remorse.

I wipe my mouth, trembling, and attempt to rise.

The forest floor feels unsteady beneath me, each step a struggle against the lingering shadows of guilt. Ettie turns toward me, her eyes holding a mixture of concern and frustration.

“Alina-”

“Ettie… We… We can’t afford to stay here. We shouldn’t. The cameras are watching. We need to go somewhere they can’t see us..”

I stumble towards Ettie, my legs weak beneath me.

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Ettie’s gaze softens

and we made ours.”

“Alina, survival comes with a price. Elijah made his choice,

“We?” I mutter to myself, my entire body shaking. “What do you mean we?”

Anger pulses through me

mel that still linger in my chest.

like a wildfire, fueled by the charred remains of guilt

The echoes of Elijah’s demise reverberate in my mind, a haunting melody that refuses to be silenced. Yet, as I turn my gaze toward Ettie, a different kind of fury

takes root within me.

“Ettie, it was all you! You did that! It’s not something we both decided on! Why did you kill him?”

The words burst forth, sharp and accusing. My voice, usually soft, carries the weight of betrayal.

Ettie meets my gaze, her eyes defiant. “Alina, he touched you. He was going to hurt you. What choice did I have?”

The forest, with its silent trees and hidden cameras, bears witness to our confrontation. The air crackles with tension, charged with the unspoken truth that now stands between us.

“You had a choice, Ettie! You didn’t have to kill him like that!” My fists clench at my sides, the anger boiling within me. “We could have found another way, stopped him without resorting to… to this.”

There are no rules, no

in her words stings, a bitter reminder of the unforgiving nature of our reality. Yet, I can’t suppress the surge of resentment that courses through me. “That doesn’t give you the right to play judge, jury, and executioner. You made that decision for both of us, and I can’t just pretend like

brewing within them. “You think I enjoyed

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me? He had to die, Alina. I won’t let anyone touch

you.”

voice rises, an unchecked torrent of frustration. “But you didn’t let me decide, Ettie! You took

resistance against the accusations

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did what needed to be done. If you can’t understand that, then maybe you’re

cut out

act like you know what’s best for

anyone harm you, Alina. If that means making tough decisions,

they are.” I say the

think you can survive this on your own? You’re naïve, Alina. In this forest, trust is a luxury we can’t afford.”

between us, now shatters like glass. I clench

compromise

laugh that reverberates through the cave. “Who you are? In this forest, that’s a liability. You’ll

let it break me. “I won’t lose myself in this madness. I

tone cold. “Sometimes, Alina, you have to become

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me. “I won’t let fear and violence define me. I’ll find another way, even if it

on my own.”

to our unraveling

you can’t survive this alone. You need someone you can trust.”

resentment lingers on my tongue. “Trust is earned, Ettie. And right now, I don’t know if I

a stifled sob reaches my ears, and I stiffen

on Ettie.

moment, my heart softens, a realization dawning upon

“I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean those words. I

eyes stained with tears, and

delicate glass on the verge of shattering. “How can we go on

of my own insecurities. “Ettie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.

for sincerity. “I thought we could rely on each other, Alina. That’s what kept us going. If we

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vulnerability becomes a mirror reflecting my own fears. The realization hits me – I’m not alone in this struggle, and the survival of

also scared of losing you,” I admit, the words hanging in the

between us. “Alina, you mean everything to me. I did what I did to protect you, to keep you safe. If that means sacrificing a piece of myself, then so be it.”

admission, both heartbreaking and selfless, makes me realize the gravity of her choices. We’re not just navigating a forest filled

I’m scared because I care about you.

never wanted to make you doubt me, Alina. I

own fears. We’re two souls entangled in the dance of survival, each step fraught with uncertainty. “We need each other, Ettie. But we also need to trust in our ability

choices.”

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