Root

The air hangs heavy with the acrid scent of vomit.

I’m hunched over by the side, retching violently as my body rebels against the weight of guilt and fear that clings to my insides. Each convulsion sends waves of nausea through me, a physical manifestation of the turmoil within.

Ettie’s voice, a distant murmur, penetrates the fog of my anguish.

“Alina, you need to stop. It’s done.”

Her words, meant as reassurance, fall on deaf ears. I can’t shake the images that replay in my mind–the brutality, the blood, the makeshift grave. The forest seems to close in around me, its ancient trees bearing silent witness to the chaos that has unfolded in their domain.

As I retch, Ettie continues to stand near the makeshift grave, her gaze fixed on the rocky ground. “We did what we had to do, Alina.”

Her words cut through the fog, a stark reminder of the unforgiving reality that governs the Mating Run. Survival leaves no room for hesitation or remorse.

I wipe my mouth, trembling, and attempt to rise.

The forest floor feels unsteady beneath me, each step a struggle against the lingering shadows of guilt. Ettie turns toward me, her eyes holding a mixture of concern and frustration.

“Alina-”

“Ettie… We… We can’t afford to stay here. We shouldn’t. The cameras are watching. We need to go somewhere they can’t see us..”

I stumble towards Ettie, my legs weak beneath me.

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Ettie’s gaze softens

and we made ours.”

“Alina, survival comes with a price. Elijah made his choice,

“We?” I mutter to myself, my entire body shaking. “What do you mean we?”

Anger pulses through me

mel that still linger in my chest.

like a wildfire, fueled by the charred remains of guilt

The echoes of Elijah’s demise reverberate in my mind, a haunting melody that refuses to be silenced. Yet, as I turn my gaze toward Ettie, a different kind of fury

takes root within me.

“Ettie, it was all you! You did that! It’s not something we both decided on! Why did you kill him?”

The words burst forth, sharp and accusing. My voice, usually soft, carries the weight of betrayal.

Ettie meets my gaze, her eyes defiant. “Alina, he touched you. He was going to hurt you. What choice did I have?”

The forest, with its silent trees and hidden cameras, bears witness to our confrontation. The air crackles with tension, charged with the unspoken truth that now stands between us.

“You had a choice, Ettie! You didn’t have to kill him like that!” My fists clench at my sides, the anger boiling within me. “We could have found another way, stopped him without resorting to… to this.”

There are no rules, no mercy. You think he would have

of our reality. Yet, I can’t suppress the surge of resentment that courses through me. “That doesn’t give you the right to play judge, jury, and executioner. You made that decision for both of us, and I can’t just pretend like I had a say in it.”

within them. “You think

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it was easy for me? He had to die, Alina.

you.”

frustration. “But you didn’t let me decide, Ettie! You

wall of resistance against the accusations that hang in

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did what needed to be done. If you can’t

cut out for

like you know what’s best for me, Ettie. You didn’t save me. You just replaced one danger

eyes ablaze. “I won’t let anyone harm you, Alina. If that means

you’re a monster just like they are.” I say the words,

swift and biting. “You think you can survive this on your own? You’re

harsh reality of her words hangs in the air. Trust, once a fragile bond between us, now shatters like glass.

I won’t compromise who I

are? In this forest, that’s a liability. You’ll either

of her judgment stings, but I refuse to let it break me. “I won’t lose myself in this madness. I won’t become some… Monster.”

her tone cold. “Sometimes, Alina, you have to become

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her words, though chilling, ignites a defiant spark within me. “I won’t let fear and violence define me. I’ll

on my own.”

remains a silent spectator to our unraveling camaraderie. Ettie’s gaze, a mixture of

You need

Ettie. And right now, I don’t know if I

sound of a stifled sob reaches my

on Ettie.

my heart softens, a realization dawning upon

as if navigating a fragile bridge. “I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean those

tears, and for a moment, the distance between

said you don’t trust me,” Ettie whispers, her voice fragile like delicate glass on the verge of shattering. “How can

in her words stings, a sobering reminder of the fragility of trust. I step closer, my heart heavy with the weight of my own insecurities. “Ettie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m just… I’m scared of

on each other, Alina. That’s what kept us going. If we lose that,

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– I’m not alone in this struggle, and the survival of our camaraderie is as crucial as

scared of losing you,” I admit, the words hanging

us. “Alina, you mean everything to me. I did what I did to protect you, to keep you safe. If

and selfless, makes me realize the gravity of her choices. We’re not just

you. But I can’t blindly accept everything. We need to find a balance, a way to survive without

recognize. “I never wanted to make you doubt me, Alina. I just… I

with the depth of my own fears. We’re two souls entangled in the dance of survival, each step

choices.”

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