Chapter 19

The next morning I wake up with a groan, because they really did torture us yesterday. It was an endurance competition that lasted pretty much all day. We had to stand on a balance beam with a pail of water, of all things, on our heads and a staff stretched across our shoulders. At regular intervals, the Leutenants would come around and add weights to our staffs so that it was a test not only of how long you could stand there and whether or not you could stay straight, but also how long you could endure increasing weight on your shoulders.

It was absolute agony, only compounded by the fact that I somehow got placed next to Jackson. during it, so I had the added challenge of enduring his exquisite smoke–and–pine scent the entire time I stood there. And god, the more I smelled it, the more I realized that there was something else layered beneath it – something warm, and rich, and delicious, like…cherries? God, I don’t know, but whatever it is, it works.

Needless to say. I did not win this competition. I didn’t shame myself I have good balance after years of ballet and made it somewhere to the midway point of candidates. It was the weights that took me out eventually when they added a final set of sandbags to the ends of my staff, I just collapsed – completely ate dirt while water from the pail splashed all over me.

And, damn it. I could have sworn that I heard Jackson laughing at me, even though when I scowled up at him his face was totally blank.

It came down to Jackson, Rafe, and Jesse at the last, and we were all required to sit and watch them in silence, missing lunch and dinner, while they all stubbornly just stood there, refusing to give up even when it meant that the rest of us starved.

Eventually the Captain made them all go to one foot, which took Rafe out pretty fast, to my surprise. He scowled as he sat next to me, though that was the only sign of his disappointment.

And then it was all Jesse and Jackson for another hour before Jackson wobbled, just once, and his pail fell down. Even though Jackson himself didn’t fall, the Captain called it in Jesse’s favor.

Jesse and Jackson shook hands, but I could see Jackson’s disappointment. He’s at the top of every list, but he hasn’t come in first in a single evaluation since the logic exam, and even that he knows he only got because I let him turn his paper in first.

But then again, neither has Jesse, who was beaming when he came over to accept our congratulations.

Still, despite his enthusiasm at winning, I could tell that Jesse was beat. He skipped his shower and fell immediately into bed. And this morning, even though Jesse is always up first and waking me with a happy smile….he’s dead asleep right now, his face totally slack and pressed into his pillow.

I grin as I climb down from my bunk, proud of my cousin and also a little pleased to see him out of energy for once. He always seems to have three times as much as the rest of us.

But I sigh and decide to give him the morning off, pulling on my boots – I always sleep in my

12:37 Sun, 10 Mar

Chapter 19

to my chagrin – and heading to the bathroom to give my teeth a quick brush before moving

desperately and on a whim, but the closer and closer

the speeds at which he usually makes me run. And when I slacken

usual morning. The countryside around the Academy is usually clear and bright, with little pockets of fog hanging low in the hills, hiding from the rising sun

final hill, wondering if Jesse is going to fall face–down into his eggs like he used to do when we were preteens and he was going through a growth spurt. God, he’d fall asleep at the craziest moments, his body just taking whatever rest it needed whenever it needed it. One time he fell asleep mid–conversation at the dinner table, his cheek falling right

him up in his arms to

slow, abruptly, when I see a dark figure forming in the fog ahead of me. His head is down as his arms pump – he’s running

people who are that all, and that broad, in the barracks

who absolutely does not

a stop as Jackson comes more clearly into sight. His head

my eyes wide and my hears me, smells me, I don’t know what

me

out like an idiot,

I am, and his mouth lifts in a sneer, I realize that my instinct was correct. This

F**k! What do I do? Do

I’m out of time.

snaps, stalking towards me, his

all able to come up with an answer better than that. My mind goes completely blank

SUN, TU IVIGI

Chapter 19

only a breath between us. I tilt my chin upwards, staring up

wolf urges me, for once logical and not telling me to kiss him

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