Chapter 18

We gradually stopped contacting each other after that. Sometimes, we’d go up to half a month without saying anything to each other.

He had a girl he liked by his side, after all. I didn’t want to cause any misunderstandings between them. I also didn’t want to distract their lives just because I couldn’t control my emotions. That was why I never made the first move to contact him, no matter how much I missed him.

It was hard to cut back on contacting him, but I needed to move on.

I swore I had to get over him by hook or by crook.

When it was almost time for winter break, he texted me once, asking me when I’d be going home.

I stared at the single line of text on my phone for the longest time ever. My mind was conflicted. I didn’t know if I should feel sad or happy.

I thought I’d forget him as long as I didn’t see him or think about him.

However, when his familiar profile photo popped up again on my messaging app, telling me I had unread messages from him, my mind started wandering once more. And there was no stopping it once it started.

I gripped my phone tightly and stared at our chat window for a long time. Then, I broke down in tears and sobbed like a madwoman.

still very much

with him for 18 years. It wouldn’t

my life to live, and he had his own life, too. None of us would even cross paths with each

his message with a long line of text. I said, “I don’t know when I’m going

me.”

media. The first post was a photo of

post was a photo of two

that said, “We’re home.”

My heart broke.

my suitcase behind me as I made my way home through the hills and the

meant I could stay at home for a longer time and eat as

returned home a few days earlier than me. After he learned that I was also home, he would come over and knock at my

didn’t know if he was doing this because he felt sorry for me or if he was just trying to reconcile with me. Or, maybe it was just regular interaction between two same–aged people,

in the past should stay in the past. There

do about it anyway.

legends he’d heard about his college, how close his dorm was to Lilac’s, where they’d been on dates, and even showed me photos

roof, the crazy locals who opened up holes in the ice to bathe in, and how delicious the pork ribs there were–better than

me a pig for eating that much. Other times, he would tell me that I should take better care of myself since

alone.

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