Chapter 34

“They’re really common,” I continue, “but not usually to this extent. But we learned, in my program, that when they’re really severe they can present with the intensity of a heart attack…”

He doesn’t look at me or say a word. I bite my lip, feeling suddenly sorry for him. I can’t help it. I’ve never really been able to see another person in pain and not want to help them.

“You know,” I say quietly. “There are doctors that can help you with this sort of thing. You shouldn’t suffer like this, if they happen all the time.”

“I don’t need to see a doctor.” He says, his voice determined.

o

I roll my eyes at him, a gesture I’m not sure I’d make if he were looking at me.

“Well, if you don’t want to see a doctor,” I say, hesitating again. “Maybe I could help?”

He lifts his head, his eyes open now. “How could you possibly help me.”

I purse my lips, frustrated. “I mean, I am a trained therapist. I wouldn’t think you’d forget that, considering it’s how we met.”

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He laughs a little. “Yes, Fay’s little certificate,” he says, his voice

derisive.

be a seriously

but he interrupts me.

to my doctor, Fay,” he says. “There is nothing

wrong with me.”

training, and my desire to help, push back against my instinct to follow his command. “You have an anxiety disorder,

at me. “An anxiety disorder? A mental illness?

make those up terms so they

they’re so inadequate.”

I do too, blocking the door with my body.

health-”

he says, angry with me, pressing his hand flat against the door so that I’m trapped between him and the

kind weakness

can guess, but I choose silence.

Fay.” He says, glaring at me. “If they

of a lake with cinder blocks for shoes.

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– like the carrion birds they are- and pick pick pick-“he taps the top of my head, like a little bird pecking

to build.”

stare up at him, not knowing

he says, still glaring, “I think

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