Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

34. The past

Nine years ago.

My phones pings with a new notification waking me up from yet another restless sleep. For some reason, I haven’t been able to sleep well for the past two years.

Part of me thinks it’s because of Rowan. That my heart and head aren’t at peace because he isn’t near me anymore. My restlessness started when he joined university two years ago. During the time he’s away at Uni, I rarely sleep but when he’s home for the breaks, I sleep like a baby.

Groaning at yet another night without sleep, I wake up and check my phone. I’m surprised but it quickly turns to happiness when I see what the notification is.

I paid someone money to install an app that lets me track Rowan every time he’s around. Right now it just notified me that he was home.

Jumping out of bed, I get dressed quickly. He was probably back with Emma or maybe Travis or Gabe, but I didn’t mind. I just wanted to see him even if it’s from a far.

Once I’m done getting ready, I sneak out through my bedroom window. I had the furthest room in the house. It’s nearly Impossible for my parents or the maids to hear me leaving.

I get safely down and begin walking. Taking my phone out, I order an Uber.

“This is a terrible idea!” a voice niggles in my sub–consciousness

I ignore it. My head is already swimming with visions of my Rowan. I haven’t seen him in months and my eyes were dying to feast on him.

“Ava, go back home. You’re making a mistake” the voice continues shouting.

I stop in my tracks. That isn’t right. Nothing about Rowan would ever be a mistake. Cementing that in my head, I push all other thoughts to the back of my mind.

Minutes later, my ride arrives.

“Please, Ava, turn back” the damn voice pleads with me just as I am getting into the car.

I feel torn. Like I was fighting against my own mind and body. Finally I manage to push the thought aside and get inside the car.

+15 BONUS

I should have listened to its warning.

Another thirty minutes, we arrive at a bar. I pay the guy and get out. I stare at the dingy place

wondering what the hell Rowan was doing here. This wasn’t his kind of scene. 1

Squaring my shoulders, I walk towards it and manage to get in using a fake ID. Quickly, I walk to a hidden spot and survey the place looking for him. I locate him within seconds, surprised to find

he was alone.

I stay hidden for a while. Waiting to see if any of the others will arrive but none of them do. He was here alone.

“You’ve feasted your eyes, now let’s leave” damn that stupid voice.

I ignore it completely. This might be my chance to get him to notice me. Now that he was here alone and Emma wasn’t by his side.

I take a deep breath and walk the short distance to him.

“Hey Rowan” I greet shyly.

He turns and gives me a blinding smile. Catching me off guard. We rarely talk and he has always gone to great lengths to ignore and avoid me, so the smile catches me off guard.

“It’s little Ava” he shouts. “How are you doing?” he asks.

It’s then I realize he was completely drunk. That was the only reason he looked so happy and receptive towards me.

I take the chair next to him. Immediately he orders me a drink. I take my first taste and it was disgusting. I have never drank in my life but I force myself to do it.

“So how’s school?” I ask, feeling myself relax little by little.

He smirks and nudges my shoulder. “Is that really what you want to ask me?”

“No, I want to ask what you’re doing here drinking alone but I didn’t want to come off as rude.”

He sways in his seat as he leans forward. “Aren’t you sweet” he says then goes back to drinking.

“Are you okay?” I ask in concern. He wasn’t acting like his normal self

fie ignores me and continues drinking. I continue drinking too and just keep it Watína ř

+15 BONUS

I should have listened to its warning.

Another thirty minutes, we arrive at a bar. I pay the guy and get out. I stare at the dingy place

wondering what the hell Rowan was doing here. This wasn’t his kind of scene.

Squaring my shoulders, I walk towards it and manage to get in using a fake ID. Quickly, I walk to a hidden spot and survey the place looking for him. I locate him within seconds, surprised to find

he was alone.

hidden for a while. Waiting to see if any of the others will arrive but none of them do. He

here alone.

let’s leave” damn that

to get him to notice

wasn’t by

breath and walk the

I

and he has always gone to great lengths to ignore

he shouts. “How are you

completely drunk. That

receptive towards me.

him. Immediately he orders me a drink. I take

life but I force

feeling myself relax little

shoulder. “Is that really what

you’re doing here drinking alone but I didn’t want to come off as

his seat as he leans forward. “Aren’t you sweet” he says then goes

in concem. He

ignores me and continues drinking, I continue drinking too and just keep quiet

+15 BONUS

want to marry me”

at him. I was already feeling

“Who? Emma?”

asked her to marry me. I had the ring and I proposed. I even took her to a

on one knee. I did everything right but she still

Unable to believe that he had asked her to marry him. I’m

it down.

that she wasn’t ready. That she wants to focus on school

he ask, his voice full

of me was glad she turned him down, while the

I could see that it was tearing him

If she doesn’t want to marry you then that’s her loss. I say fuck her,

much better” I raise

before smiling. “You’re right, fuck

glasses.

stay there. We talk,

drunk, him more so than

suggest I share his hotel room and I agree. I couldn’t

I

a cab and a few minutes later we are

us, he is on me. Kissing me

until I’m left

so long” he slurs, while removing his own

too..are you sure you

That I was finally getting the

“Definitely”

+15 BONUS

and his love. It hurt at first since I was a virgin, but he made it better. Soon

groaned her name as he

think that something was wrong. He

the familiar panicked voice wakes

wondering what the hell was happening, and why Rowan was in

pacing the room shirtless. It’s then I realize that

scramble to get out of bed. Holding the sheets tightly

I start chanting. Fear and panic

They’re burning with rage and hatred. I try to think

are a little blurry. What I thought

fuck happened and what the hell are you

anger lacing his voice.

refuse to

was a mess but also because I didn’t know what to explain things.

had an app that tracks his movement when he’s in town? How do I explain that

to sleep with him?

trembling. The fact that

dream. I had slept with my sister’s boyfriend. The guy

The one she planned on having a future

question” he shouts, throwing

we started drinking, that’s all I remember” I lie even though I

bits and pieces.

over his face. Rowan loved Emma and because

just lose her

+15 BONUS

to believe that? You have been after me since I was twelve. I go out to drink

there?” he growls, firing those

him and put my clothes as best as I can without flashing him my

this?” I asks motioning to the room and

who was

there intentionally but I hadn’t planned on getting drunk