Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

19. Nothing to give

I fix my hoodie so that I can look presentable instead of looking like I had a one on one with death.

“Why are you wearing a beanie, mommy” Noah looks at me suspiciously.

We were skyping after I had postponed it so many times. Mainly because I could barely keep my

eyes open for longer than five minutes. Today though, I was feeling much better

I leaned back against my headboard. The beanie was to hide the bandage. Noah still didn’t know

what happened to me and I would make sure he never does.

“It’s a bit cold and I’m feeling a bit chilly” I lie.

I feel guilty for lying to him, but I know it’s for the best. There was no need of worrying him.

“We have a heater mom, you could’ve just turned it on”

“It’s not working and I forgot to get someone to fix it”

Damn it, I hate lying to him. A part of me felt like I was being a terrible mother because it seems. I’ve done nothing but lie to him since father died. The other part though, understands that it’s

necessary. 3

“Okay then” he mumbles skeptically.

“So what did you do today?” I ask changing the subject.

Anything that he does excites me even though I’m not there to enjoy it with him. His happiness was my own and I would protect it at all cost.

The frown he had seconds ago transforms into a big smile.

“I saw dolphins today, I even swam with them…it was so fun!!” he shouts, his excitement contagious.

“I wish I was there to see you”

“Don’t worry mommy, grandma took a video. She said she’ll send it to you”

I nod my head at that. I had accepted the phone Rowan got me. Turns out he did more than buy me a new phone. He even replaced my sim card.

can. He calls sometimes to check up on how I’m doing. I try to keep those calls short and impersonal. Like I said,

Emma at dad’s house?” his unexpected

“What do you mean?”

+15 BONUS

yesterday and she was there sitting so close

like his father’s was now

but deep down they still do. Knowing that Rowan was already playing house with her brings

we’re hit by a trigger all that pretense

I mumble, trying to hide

wasn’t going to explain things to Noah. Rowan saw it fit to flaunt his relationship with Emma in front of our son, so he’ll be the one to explain things

want you and dad back together. So we can be a family again” he is sad and it breaks my already

you have to understand that your father and I are just too different to

That we were okay. It

married after I accidentally got pregnant. I was naïve back then. Thinking that I could make

were intimate, it meant nothing to him. It was a biological process. While my feelings were involved, his weren’t. We never made love because he didn’t love me. What we did was fucking and even then he was careful not to get me pregnant. Not to make the

love him?” Noah asks the same question

ago.

him but I’ve done enough

but sometimes loving someone isn’t enough. You won’t understand it now but one day, when you’re older, you will” it’s the only response I can

him to love and be loved. As much as I hate to say this, I hope one day he gets the kind of love Rowan and Emma have. One that has stood the test of time and it’s still burning bright. I pray that one day I’ll also find that

my open door makes me

here to see you, Ava” Lydia

+15 BONUS

Letty convinced me to let her

how

is that,

to let whoever it is in before I turn to

a nice lady called Lydia. She’s here to help me with

my guess was correct then it is either Letty or Ethan. Both have stopped by a couple

help? You’ve never needed it

Rowan’s mansion. I thought it would make him see me in a different light. That he would see that I am not as spoiled as Emma who couldn’t even boil water. That it would be a

to think that he would stop hating me a little less if I made sure that all his meals were

“Mommy?” he calls out.

but I’m saved from that when Travis walks in to my room. He was the last person I wanted

call you back…you uncle just arrived and I

“Okay

say our goodbyes and he signs off. The moment he does,

told you, I never want to see you again” I school my

emotions.

foot to foot. “You’re my sister,

because as