Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

two of you?”

Thank goodness for small miracles. I wouldn’t have to be near his suffocating

us, I’m able to switch seats with him. The moment we do, I

you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along the way? Or will you leave it with regrets?” the preacher

die today, who will attend my burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would

I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was. Smart as she was. Loved as she was. I wasn’t perfect as Emma was. I was nothing compared

when we’re older, I’m still in her shadow. No one sees my pain or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always comes first in everyone’s mind while I’m left chasing after leftovers of their

me out of my

the service

deep

want to talk to him let alone look at him but I’ll have

can’t look at him. Not when the memory of him staring lovingly at Emma

Noah, let’s

we walk towards the door. Once we’re outside we’re bombarded by a crowd of people wanting to give us their condolences. I spot some of my colleagues and wave

hadn’t buried father yet

finally decided to show your face” Emma’s bitter voice

blotchy and her eyes

so didn’t want to

Emma. Can we

so that I’m the only one that

took my family from me all those years ago but no more. I plan to take

and the departing back of my sister but doesn’t say anything. I’m left shocked at

to take anything back because none of them were mine to begin

me, I lead Noah to the place that would be father’s final

stand a little distance from mother, Emma and Travis. They’re huddled together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger just

to dust…” the preacher says as they lower father’s body to

as she begs for father to come back to her. Emma

like this brings tears to my eyes. I hate seeing him in pain. I wipe my tears away. I need to be strong for him. He

there but wasn’t at the same time. By the time I come out of it, most people were already

and ma” he drags me pointing to Rowan’s