Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

I sit between the two of you?” Noah whispers

Thank goodness for small miracles. I wouldn’t have

him. The moment we do,

world one day, the question is how will you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along the way? Or will you leave it with regrets?” the

burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t.

any friends mostly because I hold myself back. Living under the perfect shadow that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y

bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always comes first in everyone’s mind

voice pulls me

realize that the service was

his deep voice always

look at him but I’ll have to because for the next ten years we’ll be sharing Noah’s

without looking at him. I know it seems rude but I just can’t look at

on Noah, let’s

jumps up and we walk towards the door. Once we’re outside we’re bombarded by a crowd of people wanting to give us their condolences. I spot some

yet and I was

show your face” Emma’s bitter voice

her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were

sigh. I so didn’t want to

Emma. Can we just bury

smiles then leans in so that I’m the only

those years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be

doesn’t say

because none of them were mine to begin

drown me, I lead Noah to the place that would be father’s final

together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a

to dust…” the preacher says as they lower

completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come back to her. Emma and Travis both have silent tears running down

my eyes. I hate seeing him in pain. I wipe my

condolences. I accept them mindlessly. It was like I was there but wasn’t at the same time. By

pa and ma” he