Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

between the two of you?” Noah

small miracles.

The moment we do, I feel the tension

it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along the way? Or will you leave it with regrets?” the preacher possess

but think about it. If I were to die today, who will attend my burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold

in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was. Smart as she was. Loved as she was. I wasn’t perfect as Emma

my pain or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than

Noah’s voice pulls me out of my

the service

deep voice always

to him let alone look at him but I’ll have to because for the

it seems rude but I just can’t look at

Noah,

crowd of people wanting to give us their condolences. I spot some of my

father yet and I was

your face” Emma’s bitter voice says behind

face her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and

didn’t want to face

now Emma. Can we

I’m the only one that can hear

me all those years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be mine” she then steps aside and leaves just as the preacher calls us to

departing back of my sister but doesn’t say anything. I’m

she doesn’t have to take anything back because none of them were mine to begin

to drown me, I lead Noah to the place that would

from mother, Emma and Travis. They’re huddled together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger just attending the

says as they lower father’s body to

cover his coffin with soil until he is completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father

to my eyes. I hate seeing

flood us to offer their condolences. I accept them mindlessly. It was like I was there but wasn’t at the

ma” he drags