Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

two of you?” Noah whispers

a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for small

with him. The moment we do, I feel the tension

you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched

If I were to die today, who will attend my burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only one who

I hold myself back. Living under the perfect shadow that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was. Smart as she was. Loved as she was.

now when we’re older, I’m still in her shadow. No one sees my pain or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always comes first in

Noah’s voice pulls me out of my

I realize that the service was over and

you okay?” his deep voice

talk to him let alone look at him but I’ll have to because for the next ten years we’ll

rude but I just can’t look at him. Not when the memory of him staring lovingly at Emma is still fresh in my

Noah, let’s

the door. Once we’re outside we’re bombarded by a crowd of

hadn’t buried father yet

decided to show your face” Emma’s

face her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were

want to face her right

now Emma. Can we just bury father

in so that I’m the only

years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be mine” she then steps aside and leaves just as the preacher calls us to go to back where the cemetery

of my sister but doesn’t say anything.

were mine to begin with. The family she’s talking

that wanted to drown me, I lead Noah to the

together. Looking at them and me you would think

the preacher says as they lower father’s

completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come back to her. Emma and Travis both have silent tears running down their faces as

I hate seeing him in pain. I

offer their condolences. I accept them mindlessly. It was like I was there but wasn’t at the same time. By the time I come out of it, most

is pa and ma” he