Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

I sit between the two of you?” Noah whispers to

small miracles. I

moving us, I’m able to switch seats with him. The moment we do, I feel the tension ease

how will you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives

but think about it. If I were to die today, who will attend my burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only one who will be affected by my death will be Noah. Just him and

in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was. Smart as she was. Loved as she was.

older, I’m still in her shadow. No one sees my pain or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always comes first in everyone’s mind while I’m left chasing after

me out

I realize that the service was

okay?” his deep voice always makes

look at him but I’ll have to because for the next

rude but I just can’t look at him. Not when the memory of him staring lovingly at

Noah, let’s

crowd of people wanting to give us their condolences. I spot some

yet and

finally decided to show your face”

face her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy,

I so didn’t want to face her

Can we just

then leans in so that I’m the

alright but let me tell you that I am here to stay. You also took my family from me all those years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be mine” she then steps aside and leaves just as the preacher calls us to go to back where the cemetery

of my sister but doesn’t say anything. I’m left

were mine to begin with. The family she’s talking about worships the ground she walks one. And Rowan? Rowan was and still is her

pain that wanted to drown me, I lead Noah to the place that would be father’s final resting

distance from mother, Emma and Travis. They’re huddled together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger just attending

preacher says as they

until he is completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father

I hate seeing him in pain. I wipe my tears away.

their condolences. I accept them mindlessly. It was like I was there but wasn’t at the same time. By the

pa and ma” he drags me pointing to