Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

the two of you?” Noah

for small miracles. I wouldn’t

seats with him. The moment

this world one day, the question is how will you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along the way? Or will you

about it. If I were to die today, who will attend my burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only one who will be affected by my death will be

that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was. Smart as she was. Loved as she was. I wasn’t perfect as Emma

or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is

me

the service was over and everyone was

you okay?” his deep voice

alone look at him but I’ll have to because for the next ten

shoulders I stand up, without looking at him. I know it seems rude but I just can’t look at him. Not when the memory of him

on Noah, let’s

by a crowd of people wanting to give us their condolences. I

hadn’t buried father yet and I was already

decided to show your face” Emma’s bitter

around to face her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy, but

want to face her right

Emma. Can we just bury father

that I’m the

alright but let me tell you that I am here to stay. You also took my family from me all those years ago but no more. I plan to take

sister but doesn’t say anything. I’m left

she doesn’t have to take anything back because none of them were mine to begin with. The family she’s talking about worships the ground she walks one. And Rowan? Rowan

drown me, I lead Noah

them and me you would think that

dust…” the preacher says as they lower father’s body

buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come back to her. Emma and Travis both have silent tears running down their

this brings tears to my eyes. I hate seeing him in pain. I wipe my tears away. I

mindlessly. It was like I was there

is pa and ma” he