Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

the two of you?”

small miracles. I wouldn’t have to be near his suffocating

us, I’m able to switch seats with him. The moment we do,

leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along the way? Or will you leave it with regrets?” the

but think about it. If I were to die today, who will attend my burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a

mostly because I hold myself back. Living under the perfect shadow that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful

suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always comes first

me out of my

I realize that the service was

you okay?” his deep voice always

to him let alone look at him but I’ll have to because for

shoulders I stand up, without looking at him. I know it seems rude but I just can’t look at him. Not when the memory of him staring lovingly

on Noah, let’s

we’re bombarded by a crowd of people wanting to give us their condolences. I spot some of

hadn’t buried father yet and I was already

to show your face” Emma’s bitter voice

turn around to face her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were

didn’t want to

now Emma. Can we

smiles then leans in so that I’m the only one that can hear

from me all those years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was

but doesn’t say anything.

doesn’t have to take anything back because none of them were mine to begin with. The family she’s talking about worships the ground she walks one. And Rowan? Rowan was

pain that wanted to drown me, I lead Noah to the place

and Travis. They’re huddled together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger just

preacher says as they lower father’s body to

as she begs for father to come back to her. Emma and Travis both have silent tears running down their faces as they hold her in their

beside me. Seeing him like this brings tears to my eyes. I hate seeing him

It was like I was there but wasn’t at the same time. By the time I come

he drags me pointing to Rowan’s