Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

sit between the two of

goodness for small

able to switch seats with him. The moment we do, I

Changed it and

am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They

I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was. Smart as she was. Loved as she was. I wasn’t perfect as Emma was. I was

in her shadow. No one sees my pain or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always comes

pulls me

service was over and everyone

his deep voice

don’t want to talk to him let alone look at him but I’ll have to because for the

know it seems rude but I just can’t look at him. Not when the memory of him staring lovingly at Emma is still fresh in

Noah, let’s

a crowd of people wanting to

yet

your face” Emma’s bitter

face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy, but she still

want to face her right

now Emma. Can we just bury father

that I’m the only one that can hear

no more. I plan to take everything back, including the

departing back of my sister but doesn’t say anything.

have to take anything back because none of them were mine to begin with. The family

drown me, I lead Noah to the place that would be father’s final

from mother, Emma and Travis. They’re huddled together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger just attending the burial instead of part

says as they lower father’s

soil until he is completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come back to her. Emma and Travis both have silent tears running down their faces as they hold her in their

this brings tears to my eyes. I hate seeing him in pain. I wipe my tears away. I need to be

people flood us to offer their condolences. I accept them mindlessly. It was like I was there but wasn’t at the same time. By the time I come out of it, most people were already

is pa and ma” he