Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

I sit between the two of you?” Noah whispers

breathe a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for small miracles. I wouldn’t have to be near his

seats with him. The moment

you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along

attend my burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only one who will be affected by my death will be Noah. Just him

hold myself back. Living under the perfect shadow that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough

pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always comes first in everyone’s

voice pulls me out of my

the service was over

deep voice always makes

to him let alone look at him but I’ll

without looking at him. I know it seems rude but I just can’t look at him. Not when the memory of him staring lovingly at Emma is

on Noah,

crowd of people wanting

hadn’t buried father yet

show your face” Emma’s bitter

face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy,

sigh. I so didn’t want to face

Emma. Can we just bury father

then leans in so that I’m the only one that can hear

all those years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the

my sister but doesn’t say

understand is that she doesn’t have to take anything back because none of them were mine to begin with. The family she’s talking about worships

pain that wanted to drown me, I lead Noah

little distance from mother, Emma and Travis. They’re huddled together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger just attending

as they lower father’s

coffin with soil until he is completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come back to her. Emma and Travis both have silent tears running down their faces as they

I hate seeing him in pain. I wipe my tears away. I

It was like I was there but wasn’t at the same time. By the time I

there is pa and ma” he drags me