Divorce decree

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

day. Knowing this, I still

his throat, obviously

do you love mommy or not?” Noah asks again,

hear him sigh in defeat. “I love

placation not an

rush of pain that fills me. After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over

I gave birth to Noah, nor after in the years that

duration of our marriage. I gave him my all but he gave me nothing in return except pain and

two, there were three of us in our marriage. Him, me

I rub them way. I was tired of crying. Tired of chasing

told you it’s rude to

silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I

stands near the kitchen counter.

pins me

shift to my son. My pride and joy. The only good thing in my life. His good looks are definitely curtesy of

them a small

down from the counter. He rushes to me and hugs my mid-section. “I’ve missed

kiss his forehead before he steps away from

there awkwardly. This used to be my home, but now I

though, I

or unknowingly, he built this house with HER in mind. This was HER dream house, everything down to

have been the first indication that he wasn’t planning on letting her go. That he

and stares at his watch. “You

divorce degree today and I thought I could bring you

lips form a thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of

over, he has broken my heart and shattered my soul. I continued loving him. Holding on. Thinking things will change, but they

love. The love I’ve been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past. The ghost of a girl I could never measure up to no

chest. Trying to ease

hurts even though we’ve been separated for

your room? Your mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched

between us for a

he

fist on the counter in anger. His grey eyes are icy as he addresses

could have sent them to my damn office instead of interrupting my time with my son” the words leave his lips in a

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