Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

Divorce decree

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

Never had and never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our

throat, obviously stalling.

not?”

“I love

was a placation not

my eyes against the rush of pain that fills me. After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again.

married or when I gave birth to Noah, nor after in the years that had passed or when we slept

marriage. I gave him my all but he gave me nothing in

me and the love of his life. The woman he’s

tired of crying. Tired of chasing after a man

told you it’s rude to listen to other people’s

the silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I square

stands near the kitchen

mocking grey eyes pins me to the

my life. His good looks are definitely curtesy of his dad. He has

give them a small

half eaten sandwich down and jumps down from the counter. He rushes to me and hugs my mid-section.

forehead before he steps away from me and goes back to his

be my home, but now I feel out of place in it.

truth though, I

unknowingly, he built this house with HER in mind. This was HER dream house, everything

wasn’t planning on letting her go. That he

annoyance and stares at his watch. “You

I thought I could bring

and his lips form a thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of me breaks. I’ve loved him since I can remember but that doesn’t mean

heart and shattered my soul. I continued loving him.

been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past. The ghost of a girl I could never measure up

ease the pain that was

no good. It still fucking hurts even

you go up to your room? Your mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth,

between us for a minute before

fighting” he commands before

he is out of ear shot, Rowan bangs his fist on the counter

with my son” the words leave his