Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

Divorce decree

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

truth is he doesn’t love me. Never had and never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our son the

clears his throat,

do you love mommy or not?” Noah asks again, his

him sigh in defeat. “I love her for giving

placation not an

feel my heart breaking all over

we got married or when I gave birth to Noah, nor after in the years that had

our marriage. I gave him my all but he gave

me and the love of his life.

but I rub them way. I was tired of crying. Tired of chasing after a

told you it’s rude to listen to other

voice cuts through the silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I square my

stands near the kitchen counter. My now ex-husband, Rowan

eyes pins me to

joy. The only good thing in my life. His good looks

give them a

sandwich down and jumps down from the counter. He rushes to me and hugs my mid-section.

my love” I kiss his forehead before he steps away from me and goes back to

home, but now I feel

though, I

house with HER in mind. This was HER

wasn’t planning on letting her go. That he wouldn’t reciprocate my love for

in annoyance and stares at his watch. “You promised you wouldn’t

I could bring you the copy while I pick

form a thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of me breaks. I’ve loved him since I can remember but that doesn’t mean

broken my heart and shattered my soul. I continued loving him. Holding on. Thinking things will change, but

I would finally get love. The love I’ve been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past. The ghost of a girl I could never measure up to

ease the pain that was encased

fucking hurts even though we’ve been separated for

your room? Your mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth, the word mother slipping out

between us for a minute before

he commands before

out of ear shot, Rowan bangs his fist on the counter in

instead of interrupting my time with my son” the words leave his lips in a growl. His hands