Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

Divorce decree

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

is he doesn’t love me. Never had and never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our son the truth or

his throat, obviously stalling.

not?” Noah asks again,

sigh in defeat. “I love her for giving me you”

was a placation not an

fills me. After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again. I don’t know why a small part of me had hoped that his

when I gave birth to Noah, nor after in the years

himself back through the entire duration of our marriage. I gave him my all but he gave me nothing in return except

two, there were three of us in our marriage. Him, me and the love of his life. The woman he’s refused

way. I was tired of crying.

told you it’s rude to listen to other people’s

the silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I square my shoulders and

the kitchen counter. My now ex-husband, Rowan

mocking grey eyes pins me

His good looks are definitely curtesy of his dad. He has my brown

them a

jumps down from the counter. He rushes to me and hugs my mid-section. “I’ve missed

my love” I kiss his forehead before he steps away from me and goes back

my home, but now I feel out of

truth though, I

house with HER in mind.

planning on letting her go. That he wouldn’t

doing here?” he asks in annoyance and stares at his watch.

divorce degree today and I thought I could bring you

turns stone cold and his lips form a thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of me breaks. I’ve loved him since I can remember but that doesn’t

has broken my heart and shattered my soul. I

love I’ve been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past.

my chest. Trying to ease the pain that was encased

still fucking hurts even

mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth, the word mother

looks between us for a

he commands before

he is out of ear shot, Rowan bangs his fist on the counter in anger. His grey eyes

office instead of interrupting my time with my son” the words leave