Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

Divorce decree

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

Knowing this, I still wanted to hear

clears his throat,

mommy or not?” Noah asks again, his voice

in defeat. “I love her for giving me you” he

placation not

fills me. After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again. I don’t know why a small part

three words to me. Not when we got married or when I gave birth to Noah, nor after in the years that had passed or when

the entire duration of our marriage. I gave him my all but he gave me nothing in return

two, there were three of us in our marriage. Him, me and the love of his life. The woman

fill my eyes but I rub them way. I was tired of crying. Tired of chasing after a man that

you it’s rude to listen to

Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I square

kitchen counter.

eyes pins

and joy. The only good thing in my life. His good looks are definitely curtesy of his dad. He has my brown hair and his

give them a

Noah places his half eaten sandwich down and jumps down from the counter. He rushes to me and hugs my

my love” I kiss his forehead before he steps away from me and

to be my home, but now I feel out of place in it. Like I don’t

though, I never

mind. This

he wasn’t planning on letting her go. That he wouldn’t reciprocate

and stares at

divorce degree today and I thought I could

form a thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of me breaks.

and shattered my soul. I continued loving him. Holding on. Thinking things will change, but

love I’ve been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past. The ghost of

to ease the pain that was

still fucking hurts even though we’ve been

up to your room? Your mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth, the word mother

looks between us for

fighting” he commands before

is out of ear shot, Rowan bangs his fist on the

have sent them to my damn office instead of interrupting my time with my son” the words leave his lips in