Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

Divorce decree

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our son the

throat, obviously stalling.

love mommy or not?” Noah asks

sigh in defeat. “I love her for giving me you” he

was a placation not

fills me. After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again. I don’t know why a small part of me

never said those three words to me. Not when we got married or when I gave birth to Noah, nor after in the years that had passed or when we slept

I gave him

were three of us in our marriage. Him, me and the love of his life. The woman he’s

I was tired of crying. Tired of chasing after

ever told you it’s rude to listen

silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the

the kitchen counter. My now ex-husband, Rowan

pins me to

thing in my life. His good looks are definitely curtesy of his dad. He has

give them a

mommy” Noah places his half eaten sandwich down and jumps down from the counter. He rushes to me and hugs my mid-section. “I’ve

too, my love” I kiss his forehead before he steps away from me and

used to be my home, but now I feel

though,

house with HER in mind. This was HER dream house, everything down

should have been the first indication that he wasn’t planning on letting her go. That he

in annoyance and stares at his watch. “You promised you wouldn’t

I thought I

like this, a piece of me breaks. I’ve loved him since I can remember

has broken my heart and shattered my soul. I continued loving

got married I thought I would finally get love. The love I’ve been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past. The ghost of a girl I could never measure up to no matter how much I

rub my chest. Trying to ease the

does no good. It still fucking hurts

your room? Your mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth, the word mother slipping

for a

he

as he is out of ear shot, Rowan bangs his fist on

my damn office instead of interrupting my time with my son” the words leave his lips in