Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

Divorce decree

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

is he doesn’t love me. Never had and never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our

clears his throat,

you love mommy or not?” Noah asks again, his

defeat. “I love her for giving me you” he finally

was a placation not

of pain that fills me. After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again. I don’t know

I gave birth to Noah,

duration of our marriage. I gave him

Him, me and the love of his life. The

but I rub them way. I was tired of crying. Tired of chasing after a man that didn’t want

it’s rude to listen to other people’s

silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process.

the kitchen counter. My now

mocking grey eyes pins

thing in my life. His good looks are definitely

I give them a

his half eaten sandwich down and jumps down from the counter. He rushes to me and hugs

too, my love” I kiss his forehead before he steps

awkwardly. This used to be my home, but now I feel out of place in

truth though, I

this house with HER in mind. This was HER dream house, everything down

should have been the first indication that he wasn’t planning on letting

doing here?” he asks in annoyance and stares at his watch.

degree today and I thought I could bring you the

his lips form a thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of me breaks. I’ve loved

I continued loving him. Holding on. Thinking things will

Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I

rub my chest. Trying to ease the pain that was encased

fucking hurts even though we’ve been separated

could you go up to your room? Your mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth, the word mother slipping out of

for a

fighting” he

out of ear shot, Rowan bangs his fist on

interrupting my time with my son” the words leave his lips in a