Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

Divorce decree

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our son the truth or

his throat, obviously stalling.

do you love mommy or not?” Noah asks again, his voice

sigh in defeat. “I love her for giving

placation not an

After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking

three words to me. Not when we got married or when I gave birth

back through the entire duration of our marriage. I gave him my all but he gave me nothing in return

Him, me and the love of his life. The woman he’s refused to let go for

eyes but I rub them way. I was tired of crying. Tired of chasing after a man that didn’t want

anyone ever told you it’s rude to listen to

voice cuts through the silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I square my

he stands near the kitchen counter. My

pins me to

life. His good looks are definitely curtesy of his dad. He has my brown hair

give them

places his half eaten sandwich down and jumps down from the counter. He rushes to me and hugs my mid-section. “I’ve missed

his forehead before he steps away from me and goes back

awkwardly. This used to be my home, but now I feel out of place in it. Like

truth though,

unknowingly, he built this house with HER in mind. This was HER dream house, everything

the first indication that he wasn’t planning on letting her go.

he asks in annoyance and stares at his watch.

divorce degree today and I thought I could bring you the copy while I pick up

thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of me breaks. I’ve loved him since I can remember but

over, he has broken my heart and shattered my soul. I continued loving him. Holding on. Thinking things will change,

love. The love I’ve been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past. The ghost of a girl I could never measure up

chest. Trying to ease the pain that

no good. It still fucking hurts even though we’ve been

discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth, the word

looks between us for a minute

fighting” he commands

bangs his fist on the counter

time with my son” the words leave his lips