Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

Divorce decree

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted

his throat, obviously

not?”

sigh in defeat. “I love her for giving me you” he finally

was a placation not an

still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again. I don’t know why a small part of me had hoped that his answer would

I gave birth to Noah, nor after in the years that had

back through the entire duration of our marriage. I gave him my all but he gave me nothing in

were married but instead of two, there were three of us in our marriage. Him, me and the love of his life. The woman he’s

was tired of crying.

ever told you it’s rude to listen to other people’s

through the silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I square my shoulders and

he stands near the kitchen counter. My now ex-husband, Rowan

pins

my son. My pride and joy. The only good thing in my life. His good looks are definitely curtesy of his dad. He

them a small

jumps down from the counter. He rushes to me and

too, my love” I kiss his forehead before he steps away from me and

home, but now I feel out of place in it. Like I

though, I never

he built this house with HER in mind. This was HER dream house, everything down to the color

that he wasn’t planning on letting her go. That he wouldn’t reciprocate

in annoyance and stares at his watch. “You promised you wouldn’t

know…I got the divorce degree today and I thought I could bring

line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of me breaks. I’ve loved him since I can

he has broken my heart and shattered my soul. I continued loving him. Holding on. Thinking things will change, but

we got married I thought I would finally get love. The love I’ve been craving since I was a child. I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past. The ghost of

my chest. Trying to ease the

hurts even though we’ve

up to your room? Your mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth, the word mother slipping out of his mouth

looks between us for a

he commands before

Rowan bangs his fist on the counter in anger. His

my time with my son” the words leave