Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

Divorce decree

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

love me. Never had and never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our

throat, obviously stalling.

do you love mommy or not?”

love her for giving

was a placation

all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again. I don’t know why a small part of me

when we got married or when I gave birth to Noah, nor after in the years that

gave him my

Him, me and the love of his life. The woman he’s

I rub them way. I was tired of crying.

ever told you it’s rude to listen to

silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I square my shoulders and

near the kitchen counter. My now ex-husband,

grey eyes pins me to the

to my son. My pride and joy. The only good thing in my life. His

them

Noah places his half eaten sandwich down and jumps down from the counter. He rushes to

love” I kiss his forehead before he

but now I feel out

truth though, I

he built this house with HER in mind.

wasn’t planning on letting her go. That he wouldn’t reciprocate my love

he asks in annoyance and stares at his watch. “You promised you

the divorce degree today and I thought I could bring you the copy while I

thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a piece of me breaks. I’ve loved him since I can remember but that doesn’t mean a damn thing to

shattered my soul. I continued loving him. Holding on.

be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the

ease the pain that was encased

hurts even though we’ve been separated for

room? Your mother and I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth, the word mother slipping out of his mouth in

between us for a

fighting” he

shot, Rowan bangs his fist on

leave his lips in a growl. His hands are fisted and